My latest Instagram post about due dates hit a nerve.
" you’re wrong, my...",
But here’s what I know: I’m not wrong. And anything that is followed with "my, I, Dr says" misses the point.
Your body doesn't need to conform to be right.
We’ve been trained to believe that there’s a single, predictable line from conception to due date. Then a day gets circled, counted down to, and quietly used to judge every mother who goes past it, or comes before it.
That belief comes from something called Naegele’s Rule, a 200‑year‑old formula that assumes every woman has a 28‑day cycle and ovulates on day 14. A man without a period.
Spoiler: Most don’t.
And yet, this dusty rule still dictates how our care teams, families, and even we ourselves talk about when a baby “should” arrive. Naegele’s Rule is a guide not a cliff.
When my post blew up, the reactions showed just how deep this conditioning runs.
It wasn’t about math, it was about the pressure to be right.
The tone from some women surprised me.
There was a lack of empathy — a quickness to defend the rule, to say “that’s wrong" in a hundred different ways.
One comment even went to ask if I "care about the women commenting about their due date".
”But what about the women for whom that timeline doesn’t fit?"
Pregnancy isn’t a due date; it’s a range. It’s a rhythm. It’s biology doing its unpredictable, intelligent work.
Only about 4% of babies come on their predicted due date. Most arrive within a five‑week window — two weeks before, three after. That’s normal.
But “normal” doesn’t fit well on a chart. So we’ve started labeling women as behind or “past due,” when really, you’re just arriving on your own timeline.
Science without humanity builds systems that forget the person inside them.
And that’s where the harm starts — in the absence of empathy.
If we don't have empathy for the 32% of women who fall outside of the 270-290 day rule.
How are we going to have empathy for the newborns who also fall outside the rules?
Your body isn’t broken because it didn’t meet a date someone else calculated using someone else’s body.
Your baby isn’t late.
You’re not failing.You’re unfolding exactly as nature intended.
That’s the message people miss when they’re busy arguing who’s “right.”
The blow-up online didn’t frustrate me it confirmed something I’ve felt for years:
My best friend delivered her babies full term and healthy at 36 weeks. All 4 of them. She is not wrong. Her calendar is not wrong. Her cycle isn't wrong.
What's wrong is we no longer have thinking discernment and empathy for the stories that are different.
Being different is not the same as being wrong.
We need to stop mistaking precision for compassion.
The post about due dates shows just how lonely our world can get.
Both matter, but only one sees the woman behind the data.
And yes, I care deeply about women. All women. I promise you that - which is why I created Oneberrie in the first place.
